NotSoThoreau

I’ve decided to get rid of the opening page and have my blog directly at notsothoreau.com. So here you are.

We went out to the boat again on Sunday. We’ve got new batteries for the engines. The starters are going to be rebuilt this week. One of the carburetors is shot, so we will need to replace that. If we can get one engine working, that will be enough to move it. We’ve been trying to sort out what work needs to be done immediately. I am hoping to move in by April. I am spending half the week in town and the other half out at the house in the woods. I need to get settled in somewhere. This just is too hard emotionally. The dogs seem to enjoy the time in town, and then spend the time in the woods catching up on their sleep. There is a fenced yard in town, so they get to spend a lot of time outside there.

As for how my life is going, well some days I just don’t know. I seem pretty happy in town, when I’m with the boyfriend. When I’m back out in the woods, it gets lonely. The amount of stuff to deal with is overwhelming. I am in a mess with the “friend” who was supposedly selling us the place in the woods. He is reluctant to put it up for sale, which means I have no chance to recover any of the money I put down on the place. He is trying to prevent me from removing the rest of my personal property, like the trailer. He can’t prevent me from doing that legally, but it does make things messy. I have tried to be conciliatory, but simply can’t afford to give him any more money on the place. And I’m angry about the whole mess. Jeffrey got sick taking him to the VA Hospital. I really don’t feel like I owe the man anything else.

The other issue of course are medical bills. I have a ton of them. I put in for the WA state medical insurance back when Jeffrey got sick. It took until January before they denied it at the first level. It’s now up at the disability office. I had to go in and give them a copy of the death certificate this morning. The woman that took it remembered working with Jeffrey back at the Nursery. Little things like that are always hard. I don’t know how that will turn out.

And then there are the usual issues in a new relationship. I have to remind myself how little time I’ve been in this relationship and how long I was married in the old one. It’s tough. We seem to connect well and get along well enough. But I am dealing with a different person and I have become someone different. Both of us have been dealing with grief and the loss of our spouse. It’s complex. I think that it will all get easier with time. We need to see what our relationship looks like. It’s still developing.