One of the discussions Lon and I used to have, back when we were just friends, had to do about why good people die young. He was upset that Kate died at such a young age, when he knows other people that have never done anything worthwhile in their lives that live to an old age. It’s probably a common thing to think about, when you lose someone.

My latest diagnosis is walking pneumonia. After all this time, I have no energy and still crash out early on the weekends. I’ve come to believe that Jeffrey had problems with his lungs before he came down with pneumonia. He had tularemia as a kid and was spray poisoned with paraquat when we lived in California. But really, my thought is this: if it is taking me this long to recover from a milder version of pneumonia, then Jeffrey would not have been able to recover from his, even if I’d gotten him into the doctor earlier. He would have hated being stuck at the house this much and not being outside. He would have hated not being able to do all those physical things he was used to doing. It’s been difficult for me and very frustrating, because there are things I want to do and need to do. Most weekends, I haven’t been able to do them.

I don’t know about Kate, but I suspect that just maybe, she would not have been able to deal with a long, slow recovery either. We do not want to see a loved one die, after all, and we like to think that we can come back from anything. In Jeffrey’s case, I think he would have preferred a quick death to a long slow recovery from pneumonia. I’m just glad I wasn’t sicker, because this long, slow recovery is truly frustrating.

I’ve been posting over on the spindlitis site and didn’t know it had been this long. So, still recovering, still slow. I’ll have another chest x-ray next week and will see my regular doctor on the 18th. I think my lungs are clearing up. I coughed pretty badly last night, but less today. And I’ll get to catch up on sleep over the weekend which helps. I’ve been taking the Green Pastures cod liver oil/royal butter blend, which should help. I still smoke mullein a bit and use the inhaler. Any real exertion gets me coughing and I have to rest a bit. Looks like I’ll be spending another weekend at home.

I was finally able to cook up something at lunch that I wanted to make for dinner all week. We have a new Grocery Outlet store nearby. I bought a bunch of peppers, bells and the small colored mild peppers. I have some cooked up chicken thighs and lots of bacon. So today, I chopped up the peppers, garlic, onion and chicken, fried some bacon and added some Roma tomatoes. Lon isn’t a big fan of peppers but he liked this. I like to cook that way, but it’s too time consuming when you are sick.

We’ve had nice weather so far. I enjoy sun in February. I’m sure the rains will set in soon. I’m still not sure what to do about a garden this year. We continue to talk about moving down to the river and financially, we really need to do that. I’d like to find a way to sell the house. Every year, it’s a major struggle to pay the property taxes on the two places and keep them out of foreclosure. We just can’t afford two places. And, at this point, I’d like to move out of the area completely. We’ll see how it goes.